Hints of Gladness: Am I Here?

'I am here' the ancient cottonwood said to me. Am I here?

If you want, you can play this audio and then read the text and look at the pictures and view the video below.

Angst.

I was worried this morning for some reason about being stuck in a rut regarding this hints of gladness exercise, and this morning has been anything but routine so far. A bunch of railroad track equipment is lined up on the railroad tracks that I cross causing me to go a different route. It’s not a big deal but it forces me to change things up a little bit. I had already made up my mind to take a little bit different route on the trail this morning, and this railroad equipment blocking my way simply helped with that.

Hints.  

The sight of the river. 

The leaves have all fallen

and more of the river can be seen

I always liked this view… 

Someone is building a movie set off in the distance.

I hear birdsong. 

Birdsong always provides 

a hint of gladness. 

I stop and enjoy it. 

It’s kind of rare this time of year.

The creeks might be the theme this morning.

Or…

I walk past the ancient cottonwood 

which prompts me to ask

Am I here?

It seems like we’re at the peak 

of the barren foliage season where 

the trees have all lost their leaves.

I cause a bit of chaos when I walk down the trail and approach the inlet. 

The ducks fly away, and the geese swim away. 

After causing all of this commotion, 

I realize there’s no real photo op here

(I take the photo above for context)

I have a long conversation with a Trail buddy, 

who I haven’t seen in quite a while.

Afterward, I try to process the things we talk about and our differing views.

I think we both recognize that we see things differently, and neither of us chooses to correct the other with our differing points of view.

I think that’s okay!

I walk past the ancient cottonwood again

(It says) I am here. 

(I’m prompted to ask) Am I here?

I appreciate this tree as a reminder to be present.

I love seeing the black and white diving ducks,

They only show up during the winter months

Contemplation.

I want to invite you to ask yourself now and regularly throughout the day, 

Am I here?

If it helps, think of an ancient tree and its presence

What does it feel like?

Be with that feeling

Stuff

What this cottonwood tree said to me is changing my life...

Photos and video - Rod Janz